These were some notes found by C.R. that were apparently left behind by a Democrat strategist who was rushing to see the latest Michael Moore film. (Ed. note- this is commentary by the oft-acerbic C.R. and not an actual incident. However, we welcome any comments – especially those from people who can provide rational insight into (and especially rebuttal on) the issues mentioned.)

Surrender as soon as possible in Afghanistan. People (voters) get squeamish when Americans are killed by terrorists whose existence Bush lied about anyway. No one cares about terrorists anymore- it is a tired scare tactic from the extreme right wing just to fool people into defending our country. Plus, we need that money to spend on other socialist programs that will create more dependency on Big Government. On a side note, let’s prosecute someone(anyone) from the Bush administration just to show people how stupid he was.

Prosecute terrorist interrogators past and present. We must show the terrorists that we are serious about how stupid the Republicans are.  If the terrorists like us, they will leave us alone and maybe even move to our country! Find some way to stop those 7 damned former CIA heads that keep on complaining about our relentless assault on their intelligence people. But wait, there are no terrorists anyway – it was all a big lie just to get free oil – and they had nothing to do with 9/11!

 Abandon our allies in Eastern Europe. It was all Bush’s fault anyway, whatever the problem was –  and we should use that money to get reelected.

Promote the dream of Global Warming. This catastrophe is vital in our efforts to seize assets from productive people in order to pay for our socialist projects. But let’s agree to not use the word “socialist” when in public.

Under no circumstances allow any discussion of an issue. We are doomed if actual issues are ever debated because our position will collapse under the simplest scrutiny. Instead, call people names to try to get them to defend themselves rather than continue prying into the issues. Suggested names: racist, nazi, evil, greedy, homophobe, stupid, unpatriotic, unAmerican, ignorant, misguided, liars. Change the argument to anything else as quickly as possible.

If someone catches you in a lie and calls you a liar, act indignant,shocked and offended and pass resolutions to punish this sort of rude name calling by these greedy extremists. There can be no place in society for such behavior by these stupid evil Nazi liars.

Go down into Mexico and start bussing tens of thousands of people into the U.S. with the promise of something for nothing. Point out to them how the evil Republicans want to send them home or otherwise deny them free medical care, housing, legal representation, amnesty and any other “right” which they would be willing to accept from us. This will help ensure that whatever the American people and the Constitution say, we will still get reelected, unless the Republicans cheat and steal the election again.

If you raise taxes and seize the assets from 49 percent of the country and give it to the other 51 percent, how can we ever lose an election?

On missile defense – we should be using that money to create more dependency on Big Government and buy the next election. There are no more terrorists because Bush is gone and he was stupid and evil. Everybody loves us now because Obama is a world hero. But just in case somebody does attack us with a nuclear missile, we are covered because we can blame the Bush Administration and the media will support us 100 percent. So don’t let anybody say that we do not have a missile defense strategy.

Conservative talk radio must be stopped at once. We control Big Government now and this is our chance to prohibit any thoughts or ideas contrary to our agenda. It is unpatriotic and un-American to express one’s views if they are different from ours. After all, we won the election – let them get over it! It is hard to simply outlaw talk radio because of the inconvenience of the First Amendment as well as a number of informed voters who are knowledgeable and vocal about that sort of thing. We can however force endless regulations and taxes that will make it practically impossible for these crazies to continue. Or – force people to listen to liberal talk radio. Liberal talk shows have never been successful in the evil free market so we could make it mandatory somehow – like in the public schools!

Regulate the Internet because right now, people have the freedom to express any view that they want. This could adversely affect our agenda. Many young and impressionable future voters may be poisoned by the evil greedy ideas of capitalism and self-sufficiency making our goal of complete dependency on Big Government more difficult to achieve. Consider an outright ban or perhaps a new tax, tariff, surcharge, fee, co-payment,Internet dues, activity charges, per-minute stipend, or mandatory payment. We can say that we’ll use the money for the good of all mankind or something else noble and progressive.

Call everyone a racist. We cannot stand people who prejudge based on generalities and stereotypes – and that is exactly what every single white Conservative Republican does all of the time! The great thing about calling everyone a racist is that they will hopefully forget about the issue in question and instead simply try to uselessly defend themselves against the charges.

Do not get mad. All I ask is that you simply define and defend your position with logic and reason. So write to us! -C.R.