A man is worried about the increased number of burglaries occurring in his neighborhood lately. Some of the break-ins have even been committed when the residents were at home.  The thieves have typically kicked in a rear door or broken a basement window to gain entry into the house. Having a wife and kids, the man wishes to take some action toward helping protect his family. He decides that he should perhaps get a deadbolt for the rear door as well as an alarm system to monitor the most common means of entry. Since he does not have an unlimited amount of money or resources, he looks to make the best investment in areas that are most likely to give him increased security for his family and himself.

The homeowner decides to consult a security “expert” for advice. “Expert” is in quotes because that is what this person calls himself. The homeowner has no idea whether this person is actually an expert, but some certificates and diplomas are displayed on the wall of the security firm office and the “expert” speaks of all of the schooling and experience he has received.

“I would like to re-enforce my rear door with a better lock and perhaps even a stronger door. I would also like to get alarm sensors on some of my windows, particularly the ones on the side of my house that is not readily visible from the street, ” the homeowner says, realizing that it is likely that an attempt may be made by the “expert”  to try to persuade him to spend more money to strengthen all of his doors and place alarm sensors on every single door and window in his house.

The response by the expert surprised the homeowner.

“What makes you think that a burglar will come in through a door or window?”

The homeowner, momentarily embarrassed by his own possible naivety responds ,”Well, that is historically the way burglars in general and this latest band of neighborhood criminals in particular have gained entry into houses.”

The expert replies, “That is a very dangerous policy! What if burglars find out that everybody is re-enforcing their doors and alarming their windows? They might try other ways to get in. What if they decide to dig a tunnel under your house and enter from underneath? I think that you should buy underground sensors. What if they come with a giant crane and lift up your whole house and steal it? You should buy crane detectors. What if they cut a hole through your roof and come in through your attic? You should buy attic sensors. What if a helicopter lowers a ladder to your second-floor window and they come in that way? You should buy helicopter detectors.”

A skeptical look on the homeowner’s face is apparently enough to make the smug-faced security expert pull out a yellowed newspaper article about some burglar somewhere that chopped a hole in a wall at some point in history and squeezed between the studs to drag out a color television set.

The homeowner, not being a security expert, is doing mental math about how much all of these seemingly frivolous measures must cost on top of all of the measures that he originally wanted to get for his house.

“You shouldn’t get a better door or any window sensors at all for your basement windows,” the security expert reports, “Other burglars in your area may wind up feeling sad that they are being unfairly profiled in such a stereotypical way. These criminal acts in your neighborhood are not the acts of “true burglars” who are a peaceful bunch of misunderstood gentlemen who deserve our understanding. What will the burglar world think of us if we target them as criminals?”

“But how useful will your suggested methods be in stopping burglaries at my house?” the homeowner asks.

The security expert, with all of his degrees, replies “The question is not whether the means you take are successful, the question is whether the means are fair — and more importantly, how we are perceived by the criminals and by the rest of the world, like France.”

The homeowner, duped by the so-called expert, spends all of his money on a security system that even the “expert” knows will not stop a burglary approximately 100% of the time. It is of little consolation to the homeowner and his family that this new expensive alarm system will stop that one guy somewhere who did at one point in fact, use a crane to steal a whole house. At least the family can sleep at night knowing that no criminals were offended.